A Dviant Disquisition: This Ain’t The Partridge Family XXX

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Posted on March 28, 2012

“I talked to that guy Ralph from the grocery store the other day, and he confessed to me that he fucked mom on the picnic table”
“Where we eat potato salad?”

I have to say, this was more fun than I expected to have. I haven’t seen the Partridge Family in about a decade I’d wager, so the source material wasn’t at all fresh. In some ways I think that was more liberating, as I didn’t have a lot of set expectations demanding to be met. I recall a hot mom, hot sister, sarcastic kid, and singing. Pretty vague recollection. So while I can’t comment on how well this parodies the actual program, I do feel confident telling you it’s an entertaining throw-back to the 70’s family-style sitcom.

...except with more walking cocks.

The plot is, and set-up for all the sex scenes, is ridiculous and perfect. Keith has lost his mojo, and is getting shot down by girls left and right. With his romantic life in turmoil, he’s can’t write songs for the group and a big award show is coming up. Danny think’s he has the solution, as he purchases a love-tonic from the back of a teen-heartthrob magazine. All of the family gets caught up with groupies or grocery bag-boys, except for Keith who refuses to touch the stuff for one important reason; there’s a chance it could cause him to lose his hair.

...until he risked it.

It’s a light, breezy affair, full of good and bad jokes. And the bad ones are only so in the sense that they’re modeled after the style of comedy found in the original show. I really found myself smiling the whole time, and that’s skipping over the sex scenes! It even comes with a moral at the end. “You know mom, I just realized songwriting comes from the heart. And the reason chicks are attracted to me is because I play guitar and have great hair”

Tori Black is super cute, however all her cutest bits I'm not allowed to post here. And Payton <3

This Ain’t The Partridge Family XXX features a really a strong cast, and if it’s the sort of thing you care about (I do), it’s three female leads all have natural breasts. Payton Leigh is Shirley, and she’s as genuinely milfy as you can get. I’ve only met two cast members from this film, and she was one of them. It was Adultcon in March 2010, and when we hugged I can only say it was a very nice feeling. Faye Reagan, with those wonderfully Puffy nipples, plays Tracy, and Tori Black is hot oldest sister Laurie. Joining them throughout for scenes are Shawna Lenee, Kristina Rose, Madison Scott, Jaclyn Case, and Sarah Jessie.

Faye getting ready to fuck Dane Cross, aka that guy she was always in a scene with a few years ago.

For the gents we have Nick Manning doing a solid job as Keith, getting out a few great lines and some decent singing. Sinclair is Danny, who does a nice job of channeling Danny as if he was still a kid, but my favourite male cast member was James Bartholet as Mr. Kincaid. He not only had some of the funniest lines, but hands down the best expressions. If you read my Bridesmaids review, you know that funny faces steal my heart, if not the scene. James is the second cast member I’ve met, and I’ve seen him on both sides of the coast.

Yes, yes, more!

YES!

This was a Hustler release, and I’m very much impressed with the quality of work they’re putting out. This Ain’t The Partridge Family XXX is a two-disk release, with special features filling the second. I would not have known Faye Reagan’s tips on fisting if not for that 20 minute behind-the-scenes tour. And that information may one day save my life.

Tori from her good side.

This is a retro comedy is colourful and funny, and it’s one I’d gladly recommend. It made me (c’mon get) happy.